You know you're an audiophile if...

[CCH]

The debate about what constitutes audiophilia in the recent just-how-pathetic-a-minority-are-we? thread got me thinking about an alternative approach, a la Jeff Foxworthy. So, without further ado, I'll submit the first ten answers:

You know you’re an audiophile if…

…you own a power cord that cost more than your refrigerator and a remote control that weighs more than your cat.

…you know the meaning of SPL, VTA, DAC, EQ, DSP, ESL, XLR and THD.

…you don’t think first of “siding” when you hear the word “vinyl.”

…your insufficient dynamics can’t be treated with a blue pill.

…you think you can buy yourself a better bottom end.

…your back doesn’t hurt but you still complain about compression.

…your idea of a romantic setting is to sit in the light of glowing tubes.

…you politely avert your eyes from the sight of tone controls.

…you care about the purity of your copper.

…you’re proud of your decay.

-- Craig

 

[jtwrace]

LOL

:ROFL:

:bowdown:

 

[twich54]

Excellent Craig, I love it !!!

 

[jtwrace]

Just read it to my wife...even she giggled.

I propose we come up with ten and make shirts. That is easy to do....

 

[twich54]

I propose we come up with ten and make shirts. That is easy to do....

Excellent idea Jason, it would be nice to tie in the Logan logo as well.

 

[CCH]

Sounds good, but let's get some more submissions. I'd love to hear what our other loonies have to add.

 

[jtwrace]

would be nice to tie in the Logan logo as well.

got to be careful with that though....would need permission from ML...

 

[sleepysurf]

You know you're an audiophile...
... if your co-workers are ogling half-naked women on their computers, and you're at your cubicle surfing the ML Club, Audiocircle, and Audiogon!

 

[jtwrace]

You know you're an audiophile...
... if your co-workers are ogling half-naked women

or men.

Don't forget the others on this site (and yes it goes both ways...)

 

[amey01]

You know you're an audiophile...
... if your co-workers are ogling half-naked women on their computers, and you're at your cubicle surfing the ML Club, Audiocircle, and Audiogon!

haha - this one's especially true!

 

[amey01]

Also add another office one:

"When all your workmates are standing around the kitchen discussing what was on TV last night and you have absolutely no idea what they're talking about because you spent the evening listening to great music"

 

[sleepysurf]

You know you're an audiophile...
... if your housekeeper has passed a 50 question test on the care and handling of high-end audio gear (all essay questions)!

That's actually an old post of mine from a similar A'gon discussion in '05! See... http://forum.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/fr.pl?ymisc&1120778779&&&&&st50

 

[Rich]

You know you're an audiophile if . . .

. . . you absolutely insist on the latest, greatest digital technology for your surround sound processor; and equally insist on using 1950's-era analog technology for your two-channel system.

. . . you can hear the slightest variation in sound caused by a cable's interaction with the carpet, but can't seem to hear your wife when she asks you how much you spent on that cable.

. . . you spend ten times more money on system "tweaks" in a year than you spend on music to play on the system.

. . . your phono cartridge cost more than your car.

And, last but not least, you just might be an audiophile if:

. . . you upgrade your equipment more often than JoeyV!

(that last one will only have meaning to long-time forum members)

 

[CCH]

Off to bed in a minute, but here are another quick ten:

...you think nothing of telling people that you are bi-wired.

...your wife complements your front end.

...you still think mods are cool.

...you don’t have to wait for snow to go tube rolling.

...you care more about interconnects than relationships. (Ouch!)

...you spend more on wall coverings than on floor coverings.

...you’ve promised your significant other that this is absolutely, positively the last amp/speaker/cable/turntable you’ll ever buy.

...your turntable is better balanced that you are.

...you lie in bed at night fantasizing about upgrading your wall outlets.

...you’re really into vibration control.

'Night, all!

 

[JonFo]

This is really good, so here are a few more based on real world observations of the species in action:

... you built your house around the design for your listening room.

... you have more than ten pieces of audio gear.

... more than five pieces of gear are not even active in the system. (you know: options, spares, etc.)

... you built an equipment room to house all your gear.

... you had to put in dedicated air conditioning for your equipment room.

... you cut a hole in the floor and turn 3,800 cu ft of space below into your subwoofer 'box'.

... you spent more time and money on building custom acoustic treatments than on bedroom furniture.

... your idea of 'fun' is to listen to test tones for hours while tuning your system.

... you purchase the same music over and over (e.g. Dark side of the Moon) just to hear it in the latest, highest resolution format.

... your system can play more formats than your friends can even name.

... after 30 minutes of explanation, your neighbor still has no clue why someone would spend that much time and energy on a system, until they hear the system and then all they can say is "wow!", over and over.

 

[JonFo]

A few more, but with the 'geek' qualifier:

You know you are an audiophile geek if ...

... you know how many square feet of radiating surface is in your speaker system. (72 Sq. Ft in mine)

... you measure your system on average once a month.

... you post your measurements to online forums.

... you have more than one acoustic measurement system.

... you can explain the difference between a Bode frequency response, Impulse response and waterfall plots.

... you create a web site to list your system, and it takes more than five pages to do so. (mine has 20 pages, just for the HT)

... you are dissatisfied with your speaker vendors choices for center channels and roll your own.

... you mod your speakers, over and over.

... you have Visio diagrams of your system, both macro and detailed wiring diagrams.

... you start a Wiki on your preamp.

... you roll your own technical power (balanced) subsystem.

... you automate your AV system with a dedicated PC and five additional pieces of gear, and still have fourteen remotes lying around.

... you know how to program >3 programmable remotes.

... you have >3 programmable remotes, and they all work.

 

[Bernard]

- you name your twin sons Martin and Logan

- you name your daughter and son Connie and Johnny

- you are reading this

 

[twich54]

- you are reading this

Bernard, you "sly dog" you !!!

 

[zaphod]

you're unable to play a CD or record from start to finish without stopping to "adjust things a bit"

 

[User211]

- you borrow someone's "how sad are we really" thread idea, and turn it into an even sadder one (soz CCH)

- your system sounds so much better with each successive drink, you can hardly get into bed without burping, farting, snoring and ****ing off the wife (opps - me)

- your list of sadness is even bigger than JonFo's (soz Jon)

- you upgrade even more times than JoeyV is alledged to have done, and you don't downgrade

- you spend $100K+ on hi-fi gear (soz Jeff)

- you bought a pair of Mackies and a cheap amp, then spent $100,000,000,000 on room treatments to get a flat response, then convinced youself you have a kick-arse system (sorry Ethan)

- you can't hear it, you can only measure it

- zip wire is all you need

- you start a company making room treatments

- you can hear a difference with dots (soz Gordon)

- you run a forum full of sad audiophiles because you can't meet enough of them in real life (soz Tom)

- you have sussed out how to place your CLS to within the nearest micron (soz CAP), ***k up your floor with tape, then tell everyone else how to do the same

- you're so convinced you can hear the difference between different manufacturers 211s you buy an army of them (yikes - that's me again!)

- you keep changing your signature thinking it's real cool, but everyone else just thinks you're a prat...

wow - this could get really personal - apologies to all, but everyone deserves a tickle every now and then... but then I did seem to feature more than most, but Ethan definately wins

am I banned?