What usually fries first is the step-up transformer or some passive crossover component.
The 'painful audio' is likely caused by amp distorting and room ringing. I have tons of power (1,200w into 2 Ohms), so don't ever hit amp distortion, but it's easy to make the room ring. Or at least it used to be before a literal ton of room treatments.
An ESL transducer alone is pretty robust and can take abuse, as long as there is no arcing.
